when it’s not important…but actually it is
HOW ARE YOU HOLDING UP? THIS IS AN EXTRAORDINARILY DIFFICULT TIME. AND WHILE WE ARE ALL FACING MANY OF THE SAME CHALLENGES RIGHT NOW, WE ARE ALSO DEALING WITH OUR OWN UNIQUE CONCERNS AND COPING WITH COVID-19 IN DIFFERENT WAYS.
HOW DO YOU ROLL WHEN THE WHEELS COME OFF?
For the most part, here at beckie+martina, we are staying in our respective homes and trying to commit to some semblance of a routine, which we know is important right now. And as personal stylists and image consultants, it’s understood that our job is to remind you to not give up on your personal appearance – and we do try to arrive at our computers each day in something other than what we left on the bedroom chair last night – but over the past couple of weeks we have to admit we’ve dropped our standards.
THEN THIS HAPPENED
On a normal day (remember those?) when struggling with what to wear, I (Beckie) am lucky enough to have only had to look as far as my always-chic business partner Martina for inspiration. Recently, on one of our gazillionth FaceTime calls, I got excited about a top she was wearing. It had what looked like a cool appliqué near her neckline which, in these dull days, caught my eye. Turns out she had her sweater on backwards and inside out and that the “appliqué” was a broken brand tag dangling at her neck. That’s when I realized it was over. We had officially arrived at “Who Cares”.
And so the shelter at home, quarantine, house arrest – whatever you choose to call it – has brought us both to question: When it comes to getting dressed, why should we care?
And yes, we’re focused on other things right now–trying to work, shifting business models even, while taking care of the kids, whose schedules are also displaced. Yes, we’re cleaning our kitchens constantly because we’re eating three meals at home.
And yes, it’s JUST HARD.
OUR ATTITUDE IS ALSO CONTAGIOUS
COVID-19 isn’t the only dangerous contagion. Since this “New York on Pause” began, I have managed to put on a pair of jeans and felt like I’m really killing it. I even did my hair and applied some mascara to walk the dog. Then the appliqué thing happened and the next day I don’t think I showered and put my own cashmere sweater on inside out because it seemed like the outside might be softer. How we act, our attitudes and the decisions we make about how we treat ourselves and others are also contagious to those around us. And likewise, our hope and faith is as contagious – maybe even more – as our fear.
So while we don’t subscribe to taking responsibility for other people’s actions, we do believe we have a responsibility to those around us to try our best. Because you never know who’s watching and what they may need. Our loved ones, kids, colleagues, friends…we hold each other up. And since the only thing we can really change is ourselves – and some days the only thing we can change about ourselves is our pants – showing up for ourselves, whatever that looks like for you, may be the most courageous thing we can do right now.
NOT TRYING IS OK, TOO…BUT ONLY FOR AWHILE
Sometimes it’s dressing like we’re heading into the office even though we’re just moving from our bed to our desk in the living room. Sometimes showing up means just being honest with ourselves and the people who count on us about who and where we are, how we’re feeling and what we need. So when you say, “I’m going to dress in my softest clothes for the next couple of days but don’t worry son/daughter/husband/friend – I’ll be back,” our people can breathe a little sigh of relief because they are assured we haven’t given up and left the building. That we do still care. And that, for today, we may just need to grieve a little. But it’s not forever.
Whether you are an emergency-room doctor, single parent, a hairdresser, bartender or anyone in the service industry, the family without internet, the person alone, someone sick with the virus in quarantine at home — we’re all dealing and worried about each other and ourselves. So it is important, if we can, that we pull ourselves together, to act as if it’s all going to be ok. And if that helps another person to do the same, it will have been worth the effort and a good enough reason to take that extra 10 minutes in the morning to get dressed like someone who cares.